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Change The World

Change The World

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unglued

All these things I've so carefully put into place -
my beliefs, my opinions, my habits and attitudes.
I've steadfastly guarded them,
holding on for dear life,
terrified to ever admit that I might be wrong.

I've become accustomed to them.
And I've become accustomed to being broke,
being disappointed,
being bored in a job,
and settling for less than what I am capable of.

It is not comfortable, but it is familiar.
And so I have stayed.

But now I have awakened
and everything is coming
unglued.

My world is turning upside down
and being challenged by new ideas.
The call is to be all the me that I can be,
to give me to the world,
for no one else can offer what I have.

Unfamiliar territory,
yet right where I am meant to be.

My spirit responds with eagerness,
hunger,
to the call.

Unglued
feels right

what's in a name?

Okay, I admit it. I don't much like my name. I'm not sure why.

It's not that it's an awful name or anything. Maybe I'm just too used to it, and it feels so ordinary.

It's got me pondering what is in a name. Does my name have anything to do with who I am, or would I still be the same me if I was called something else?

My personal opinion is not yet established on this one. I'm inclined to think that it wouldn't matter what I was called, I would still be the same person.

But maybe that's not the case.

Would I feel different if I heard people call me by a different name? Would people's impressions of me be the same if they were introduced to me by a different name?

When I stop and think about it, I realize that my name does have a certain connotation for me. Jess means something different than Jessica, and Jesse has an even different connotation. They each create different pictures in my mind of who I am, what I am like, some of my characteristics, etc.

For example, Jessica is my official name, and has a connotation of being someone only known on paper. My friends and family do not call me that, and the only acquaintances who do are people who do not know me at all.

Whereas Jesse has a more homey, friendly connotation for me. That's the name my family uses for me, and it is very familiar. It is the version of my name that I have been called the most over my life, and has a big connection to that little girl that grew up in the woods of BC.

Jess is the nickname I have taken on more recently, and most of my "newer" friends know me by it.

One thing I have noticed, though, is that many of the people that I become acquainted with that eventually get to know me better, start calling me Jesse - even if I've been introduced as Jess. They generally use a combination - sometimes it's one, sometimes the other. I find it fascinating, though, that Jesse keeps coming into play even when I don't introduce myself as that, and rarely call myself that to other people.

So, what's in a name?

That is still open for debate. My ponderings have not led to any conclusions on this yet.

Have you ever thought about what your name means?

i refuse to be like that

I hear people talk about how crazy busy they are, how they aren't getting enough sleep, how they are stressed and feeling crappy. There is no end - you can find these overwhelmed people everywhere!

The conclusion that I long ago came to, is that I simply refuse to be like that! It doesn't matter how much I have going on, how much other people are demanding, or whatever other stresses and pulls on my time there might be. I know it's possible to manage all of that, and I just won't settle for less! ;)

I've recently gotten my hands on a program from my hero, Eben Pagan, called "Wake Up Productive". After listening to the intro 3+ times, I can't wait to get into the rest of the program! He has such a positive and healthy mindset and attitude when it comes to business, lifestyle and every day things. To hear him talk about time management, puts it all in a different perspective.

So, instead of getting bogged down with everything that I've got going on - job, business, home stuff, etc - I've chosen to instead learn how to be more productive and really focus my time, so that I get more done and have more fun. I know it's possible to do everything that I really want to do, without getting stressed out, losing sleep and getting sick. It's just a matter of learning some new habits and systems, changing the way I do things, and learning to focus on one thing at a time to accomplish more.

Good idea, huh? I'll let you know how it goes... I'll try to post some notes up here as I go through the program as well, because I know Eben is going to have some GREAT ways to do just that - he always does!

I am excited to see how it will change my life. Being more productive would have a huge impact on how well my business does, how much of that "want to" stuff I am able to do, etc. And he's even going to cover things like how to take care of your body, so that you have more energy and can be physically productive as well.

Sounds good to me! I'll keep you posted...

spring fever - memoirs of an extinct childhood

Winter is a rough time for a kid who's growing up on a farm. After spending the spring, summer and fall playing outdoors, having all kinds of adventures, to be forced inside for a few months is tortuous.

Oh sure, you can still go out and enjoy the winter sports, but cold is cold, whether you're having fun in it or not - and sooner or later, the cold wins out!

I remember just longing for spring to arrive. We'd start heading outdoors and trying to force spring. If it was a sunny day, we'd "suntan" in the wheelbarrow, with snow on the ground all around. As soon as the snow started to melt and the water was running, we'd be out in the yard, wading around in our rubber boots, building damns and troughs for the spring melt.

We'd dare ourselves to go wading barefoot through ice cold water and mud.

The lower part of our property would flood in the spring. Sure as anything, we'd be out there paddling around on the flood in a canoe - and as often as not, getting soaked to the skin wading around in the water.

More "prudent" parents would have scolded us and warned us of pneumonia or the cold. Ours knew better, knew that kids will be kids, and let us play. Although I'm sure Mom groaned more than once seeing our dirty, wet clothes coming in to be cleaned!

The bikes were out as soon as possible - or more often before. We'd be peddling around, getting stuck in snowbanks, and sliding off of the narrow paths through the snow that we were trying to bike on. If it really was too early to be biking outside, we'd attempt it in the house or the barn, peddling carefully from one room to another. Although in the house, of course, it was hard to get away with.

We just could not wait for summer. It took felt like it took forever to get there, and we were coaxing it along the whole way!

Then summer would arrive and we'd move on to building forts, exploring, and swimming in cold lakes and rivers. We'd have a tent set up in the yard just as soon as it was dry enough, just so we could sleep outside. We'd build roads and towns in the dirt for our toy cars. We'd wade the creeks, chasing minnows. We'd build hay forts and tree forts. We'd spend the summer outside, romping, exploring and experiencing.

Until eventually fall and winter would come once more, and we'd be forced inside to wait for spring...

sunshine - life or death?

In recent years, the "sun scare" has become more and more pronounced. We are warned from every direction to avoid prolonged exposure to the sun. We are directed to slather on the sun screen and wear sunglasses to protect our eyes.

We are told that too much sun causes skin cancer.

So we often "huddle" inside out of the sun, with our air conditioning running full blast, trying to keep cool in the heat of the day.

And if we do go outside, we smear on the sunscreen (or feel guilty if we don't!) before we head out under the rays.

Why do so few even think to stop and wonder if the sun is really bad for them??

I've been doing some reading lately on how we actually need the sun, how it produces Vitamin D in our bodies, and how sunscreen is actually dangerous! But of course they will never tell you that, because there is no way to profit from it. Sunshine is free for all!

As I sat out in the backyard and pondered this earlier this afternoon, I was taken back to my childhood. Winters were long and cold, and by the time spring was even just a glint on the horizon, I antsy for it to get there! I remember many times going outside to lay in the sun on a sunny day in April, or maybe even March! No, it wasn't warm out yet, but if you huddled down into the wheelbarrow you would be out of the wind and could begin to feel the sun's warmth.

I did this numerous times. Soaking up as many rays as I possibly could. I'd hunker down in the wheelbarrow, wrapped in a jacket or blanket. I'd read a book, or close my eyes and snooze a bit. There would be snow on the ground all around me, but I was cozy.

I instinctively knew that sunshine was good for me - and my body, mind and soul craved it after a long cold winter.

I haven't lost that craving. As I look ahead toward winter, I wish today would never end. The sun feels so warm and good, particularly since I know it won't be this warm again for a few months.

And sure as anything, come March or April, I'll be very antsy for spring to arrive. I'll be soaking up every ray I can possibly get, coaxing my chilly heart out of the hibernation of winter.