I got the phone call this afternoon: my business plan was accepted into the Self Employment Assistance Program. The only condition is that by the end of the first three months I must meet or exceed my projections put forth in the business plan - which I should be doing anyway! The benefits of the program include a month of morning classes where we will be taught accounting, marketing, legal matters and other vital business knowledge, weekly benefits paid to us so we can devote our time to our businesses and still pay the bills (as it will be slow at first), a graphic designer who will help us design logos, stationary and other such materials, one-on-one coaching with professionals, such as the ones teaching the classes, who are also in business themselves and can show us the ropes. Basically, I am being handed everything I could possibly need to succeed in business - all I have to bring is the motivation and willingness to put it all into action!
It has been my dream to work for myself for years - and to see it coming true is incredibly exciting! I have a chance to make my dreams a reality and prove that my business idea is viable and sustainable and I can succeed at it. Talk about a great challenge! I am definitely embarking on another adventure. I have been doing dabbling in this web design thing for a while, but I'm entering a whole new arena now. I am leaving the field of the employed and "jobbed" and venturing into the realm of the self employed and creating a job that I enjoy! Yes, folks, I will be my own boss, set my own hours, and be able to work from pretty much wherever in the world I want!
Advantage Website Solutions is the name I've chosen, and I now get to re-do my website and launch the first issue of Advantage Tips for Small Business Owners, the newsletter that I actually started under Spideys Web Design but now gets to undergo the same overhaul as the rest of Spideys. I did enjoy that name, but realize it is time for not only a new name, but a new way of doing things and looking at things - as I am now going full time and making this more than just a part time hobby. So goodbye Spideys, and hello Advantage!!! The future looks bright - did you bring your sunglasses?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
email forward mania
One of my pet peeves is email forwards. It drives me crazy that people will just forward on any and everything without even checking to see if it's legitimate or not. I don't mind the funnies as much - there are some pretty cute and hilarious forwards that give me a laugh or a smile. Those are alright. It's the other ones...
For example, here is one I got this morning. You've likely seen it, or a version of it. It's about a 3-year-old boy who was brutally murdered by two 10-year-olds in the UK and it's a petition against a ruling a judge made to give those two boys anonymity after they had served out their terms. I've seen this email before. You're supposed to put your name on it and send it on, and the 700th person is supposed to send it to this email address to get to the judge supposedly. Well, this morning I decided instead of just deleting it - which I usually do with forwards - why don't I check into it and see if I can find out more about this email forward? So I went to snopes.com and found it through a search. Sure enough, it's a true story, it actually happened. But guess what? The boys were released and granted anonymity in 2001 - there is NOTHING an email petition is going to do for that now! Not only that, but I wouldn't be so quick to say they shouldn't have anonymity either. Sure, their crime was heinous, but they were 10 years old, have served a sentence, and perhaps should be given another chance. I am sure there are those in authority who know who and where they are, in case they get into trouble again - why do we need to know? Would we feel any safer? Not likely. It would just put the lives of those boys in danger, as there would be plenty of people who would be only too glad to give them their "just desserts" - which would make us no better than them!
This is only the most recent example. There are others. What about the forwards that say hotmail will close your account if you do not forward this to 10 people immediately? I've never forwarded one of those on - and my hotmail account is still running strong! Then there are the ones that claim you'll get paid for forwarding an email, because some company is doing a test and is tracking who it goes to and so on. What makes me shake my head is that people just forward this stuff on without even questioning it.
This plague has infected places like myspace and facebook as well. I don't have a "funwall" or "superwall" on my facebook profile anymore. People forward everything. And sure, some of it's cute and funny, but even the cute and funny stuff takes up space, and that's all you ever get from people! I would rather have a personal note from you, thank you very much. Don't send me meaningless forwards. In fact, I'll go so far as to say, don't send me forwards at all unless you're keeping in touch with me personally as well. I don't need "forward friends".
Religion is not innocent either. Have you gotten the forwards trying to shame you into passing it on? They say something like, "If you love Jesus, pass this on! If you don't then you are ashamed of the one who gave His life for you." And good Christians everywhere hit the forward button! I'm not here to bash religion, but there is something wrong with this picture!
In the same category are those forwards you get about friendship - "Send this to 10 people who have been a friend to you, I hope to get it back!" And again, we hit the forward button and send it a whole bunch of people that we never talk to aside from impersonal email forwards or the occasional chat online.
We spend the majority of our lives wrapped up in insignificant details and entertainment. Take facebook again. How many times have I heard people say they are addicted to it and spend too much time on it? I have a facebook profile. I don't have a problem with facebook itself, but look at how it's used. Every time I log in, I have more than one invitation, request or some other notification that one of my friends wants me to add a new application. And what are these applications and games? Mindless, pointless, entertaining frivilities. Buy and sell your friends, pick a fight with a friend, be a virtual pirate or knight and fight battles and build armies, send hearts and hotness and hugs and flowers and chocolates. Don't get me wrong, I'm not dissing this or picking on those who use these applications - I have used them myself! But I would like to ask you a question: Why aren't you going and doing those things yourself? I'm asking myself this too. Why am I not going and doing things? Why am I living so much of my life in a virtual reality? There are applications where you can choose to dance with someone - but all it does is send them a notice saying so-and-so danced with you. Why am I not actually going out and dancing? And what happened to real chocolates, flowers, hugs? I would rather have one real hug than 1,000 virtual hugs. I would rather have one wilted real flower than a huge boquet of beautiful virtual flowers! We are rapidly losing our real connections with people! At what point did we start going virtual instead of picking up the phone to say hello, or mailing a handwritten card or note? Are we so short on time that we cannot spend a few minutes for something real? Hell, even a personal email or wall post would be a good start!
Have we lost our minds?
I would have to say the answer is probably yes! In general, people in north american society no longer know how to think for themselves! We have lost that ability. Our minds have been numbed by entertainment, media, mis-information, and, dare I say it, even religion. We are so quick to take things at face value and look no deeper! We believe what we see on the television, hear on the radio, read in the newspaper and base our entire world view on that - never thinking that perhaps we are being fed that information and are missing something more. We spend all this time wrapped up a virtual reality that doesn't exist outside of the internet and isn't really tangible in any way, and we miss out on the real life adventure and relationships that we could be having.
Our lives have become watered down. We are bombarded with information and entertainment that is really insignificant and of no real value. We spend our time playing virtual games with our many "friends", with no real relationships and connecting. Frankly, it is all meaningless!
What happened to real relationships, where you connect with someone on a deeper level than whether you both liked the newest hot movie? Where did the real life adventures go, where you see and experience the real world around you? Technology is wonderful. The internet is a great tool. We should be utilizing it, but not depending on it, and not living in it.
I don't know about you, but I want my life to be real and meaningful. I want to see the world, have adventures, connect with people on a real and deep level. I want to retain the true meaning and value of flowers, chocolates and hugs. I want to develop real life friendships and experiences. I want the important things in my life to be physical and tangible. I want to be able to think for myself, not just believe everything told to me. I don't want to be part of a human race that is no longer truly human.
Will you join me in stepping away from the email forward mania?
For example, here is one I got this morning. You've likely seen it, or a version of it. It's about a 3-year-old boy who was brutally murdered by two 10-year-olds in the UK and it's a petition against a ruling a judge made to give those two boys anonymity after they had served out their terms. I've seen this email before. You're supposed to put your name on it and send it on, and the 700th person is supposed to send it to this email address to get to the judge supposedly. Well, this morning I decided instead of just deleting it - which I usually do with forwards - why don't I check into it and see if I can find out more about this email forward? So I went to snopes.com and found it through a search. Sure enough, it's a true story, it actually happened. But guess what? The boys were released and granted anonymity in 2001 - there is NOTHING an email petition is going to do for that now! Not only that, but I wouldn't be so quick to say they shouldn't have anonymity either. Sure, their crime was heinous, but they were 10 years old, have served a sentence, and perhaps should be given another chance. I am sure there are those in authority who know who and where they are, in case they get into trouble again - why do we need to know? Would we feel any safer? Not likely. It would just put the lives of those boys in danger, as there would be plenty of people who would be only too glad to give them their "just desserts" - which would make us no better than them!
This is only the most recent example. There are others. What about the forwards that say hotmail will close your account if you do not forward this to 10 people immediately? I've never forwarded one of those on - and my hotmail account is still running strong! Then there are the ones that claim you'll get paid for forwarding an email, because some company is doing a test and is tracking who it goes to and so on. What makes me shake my head is that people just forward this stuff on without even questioning it.
This plague has infected places like myspace and facebook as well. I don't have a "funwall" or "superwall" on my facebook profile anymore. People forward everything. And sure, some of it's cute and funny, but even the cute and funny stuff takes up space, and that's all you ever get from people! I would rather have a personal note from you, thank you very much. Don't send me meaningless forwards. In fact, I'll go so far as to say, don't send me forwards at all unless you're keeping in touch with me personally as well. I don't need "forward friends".
Religion is not innocent either. Have you gotten the forwards trying to shame you into passing it on? They say something like, "If you love Jesus, pass this on! If you don't then you are ashamed of the one who gave His life for you." And good Christians everywhere hit the forward button! I'm not here to bash religion, but there is something wrong with this picture!
In the same category are those forwards you get about friendship - "Send this to 10 people who have been a friend to you, I hope to get it back!" And again, we hit the forward button and send it a whole bunch of people that we never talk to aside from impersonal email forwards or the occasional chat online.
We spend the majority of our lives wrapped up in insignificant details and entertainment. Take facebook again. How many times have I heard people say they are addicted to it and spend too much time on it? I have a facebook profile. I don't have a problem with facebook itself, but look at how it's used. Every time I log in, I have more than one invitation, request or some other notification that one of my friends wants me to add a new application. And what are these applications and games? Mindless, pointless, entertaining frivilities. Buy and sell your friends, pick a fight with a friend, be a virtual pirate or knight and fight battles and build armies, send hearts and hotness and hugs and flowers and chocolates. Don't get me wrong, I'm not dissing this or picking on those who use these applications - I have used them myself! But I would like to ask you a question: Why aren't you going and doing those things yourself? I'm asking myself this too. Why am I not going and doing things? Why am I living so much of my life in a virtual reality? There are applications where you can choose to dance with someone - but all it does is send them a notice saying so-and-so danced with you. Why am I not actually going out and dancing? And what happened to real chocolates, flowers, hugs? I would rather have one real hug than 1,000 virtual hugs. I would rather have one wilted real flower than a huge boquet of beautiful virtual flowers! We are rapidly losing our real connections with people! At what point did we start going virtual instead of picking up the phone to say hello, or mailing a handwritten card or note? Are we so short on time that we cannot spend a few minutes for something real? Hell, even a personal email or wall post would be a good start!
Have we lost our minds?
I would have to say the answer is probably yes! In general, people in north american society no longer know how to think for themselves! We have lost that ability. Our minds have been numbed by entertainment, media, mis-information, and, dare I say it, even religion. We are so quick to take things at face value and look no deeper! We believe what we see on the television, hear on the radio, read in the newspaper and base our entire world view on that - never thinking that perhaps we are being fed that information and are missing something more. We spend all this time wrapped up a virtual reality that doesn't exist outside of the internet and isn't really tangible in any way, and we miss out on the real life adventure and relationships that we could be having.
Our lives have become watered down. We are bombarded with information and entertainment that is really insignificant and of no real value. We spend our time playing virtual games with our many "friends", with no real relationships and connecting. Frankly, it is all meaningless!
What happened to real relationships, where you connect with someone on a deeper level than whether you both liked the newest hot movie? Where did the real life adventures go, where you see and experience the real world around you? Technology is wonderful. The internet is a great tool. We should be utilizing it, but not depending on it, and not living in it.
I don't know about you, but I want my life to be real and meaningful. I want to see the world, have adventures, connect with people on a real and deep level. I want to retain the true meaning and value of flowers, chocolates and hugs. I want to develop real life friendships and experiences. I want the important things in my life to be physical and tangible. I want to be able to think for myself, not just believe everything told to me. I don't want to be part of a human race that is no longer truly human.
Will you join me in stepping away from the email forward mania?
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
puppy cuteness
My family is an excellent source for cuties. Here's some very sweet puppies I thought you might enjoy... Check out the little guy with the bad hair day! ;-)
Feel free to visit their website - if you haven't already - to see more puppy cuteness! http://www.minikennels.com
Feel free to visit their website - if you haven't already - to see more puppy cuteness! http://www.minikennels.com
sick adventures
I've been sick. Like really sick. Not just an annoying cold or something, but an actual fever and feeling achy all over. I don't get sick like this very often - I think the last time was about a year and a half ago, and the time before that I couldn't even tell you. It's the same thing though - tonsilitis. I've had the occasional problem with my tonsils since I was a kid. It's now got me wondering if I should look into having them removed. Feeling like crap for two days isn't fun - and that's just the fever. The actual tonsil pain doesn't start until the second or third day. The last couple days my throat felt a bit swollen, and a wee bit sore, but it was this morning that it started to actually hurt. Damn. I hate being sick! At least the fever finally broke, and I can actually get up and do things now, and have a bit of an appetite again. Still waking up every hour or so during the night in a cold sweat though. Hate that part. You ever notice that when you're sick and need to rest and sleep the most, that's when you sleep the worst? That's sure how it is for me. I can never get comfortable when I'm sick, and wake up sweating or hurting or something. No such thing as a good night's sleep when I'm sick!
And that's the bitching for now. lol. Now on to the good news. For those of you who were reading my blog last year, you may remember how I was commenting on how often I had a cold and how I thought it might be that house I was living in at the time. Well, I've noticed since moving out of there that I definitely haven't been sick as often! I've had a major cold maybe twice since then - and that was almost a year ago! So I am pretty happy about that. Colds are not fun - especially for me, as I get severe watery eyes and look like shit - don't want to be going out anywhere when I have a cold! So nice to see them happening less. I do get a lot of exercise and "fresh" air - as fresh as Windsor can offer - and I've been trying to eat better as well, so I'm sure those things help.
In other news, I submitted my Business Plan yesterday. I had to present it to the Program Manager, and she in turn will present it to the review committee on Thursday. The only thing that she said they might have a problem with is that my financials were too conservative - not enough sales in the first two years. That was the hard part for me, as I didn't want to over estimate and over step myself, but didn't want to be too "cheap" either - I guess I erred on the side of too cheap. But we'll see. The review committee may accept it anyway with the condition that I re-evaluate my financials or something like that. I'll know on Thursday.
Jon left for Cuba on Sunday. Lucky guy is probably sitting in the sun on the beach right now. I'm glad he was able to get away - he's been needing it for a while - but I do wish I could have gone with him too. A nice sunny beach would be delightful right now! However, I am staying at his place to look after things while he's gone, so I have access to the hot tub whenever I want, and a house to myself! Kind of nice, but lonely at times too - and it's only been a couple of days! This will be the first time since we started seeing each other that we went a whole week without some kind of communication - no phone calls, no text messages, no emails. Boy will I be glad to see him when he gets back! And he'll be glad to see me too, which is another bonus. He's been so sweet lately, really taking care of me and showing me that he cares about me - even telling me sometimes! When he was getting ready to leave he was saying that he'd miss me and wished he could take me with him. Not often he says stuff like that, so I sure appreciate it when he does! He seems to be doing much better - I think we are past the rough spot... I am really pumped about the trip out to BC this summer, and very excited that he wants to come with me. This guy has become pretty important in my life, and I can't wait for him to meet my family and they him! :-D
Well, that's all for now. I'm feeling better this morning so think I can actually get some website work done. Mom has been sending me updates for over a week now and I haven't been able to get to them yet. Definitely time to get on that! Caio!
And that's the bitching for now. lol. Now on to the good news. For those of you who were reading my blog last year, you may remember how I was commenting on how often I had a cold and how I thought it might be that house I was living in at the time. Well, I've noticed since moving out of there that I definitely haven't been sick as often! I've had a major cold maybe twice since then - and that was almost a year ago! So I am pretty happy about that. Colds are not fun - especially for me, as I get severe watery eyes and look like shit - don't want to be going out anywhere when I have a cold! So nice to see them happening less. I do get a lot of exercise and "fresh" air - as fresh as Windsor can offer - and I've been trying to eat better as well, so I'm sure those things help.
In other news, I submitted my Business Plan yesterday. I had to present it to the Program Manager, and she in turn will present it to the review committee on Thursday. The only thing that she said they might have a problem with is that my financials were too conservative - not enough sales in the first two years. That was the hard part for me, as I didn't want to over estimate and over step myself, but didn't want to be too "cheap" either - I guess I erred on the side of too cheap. But we'll see. The review committee may accept it anyway with the condition that I re-evaluate my financials or something like that. I'll know on Thursday.
Jon left for Cuba on Sunday. Lucky guy is probably sitting in the sun on the beach right now. I'm glad he was able to get away - he's been needing it for a while - but I do wish I could have gone with him too. A nice sunny beach would be delightful right now! However, I am staying at his place to look after things while he's gone, so I have access to the hot tub whenever I want, and a house to myself! Kind of nice, but lonely at times too - and it's only been a couple of days! This will be the first time since we started seeing each other that we went a whole week without some kind of communication - no phone calls, no text messages, no emails. Boy will I be glad to see him when he gets back! And he'll be glad to see me too, which is another bonus. He's been so sweet lately, really taking care of me and showing me that he cares about me - even telling me sometimes! When he was getting ready to leave he was saying that he'd miss me and wished he could take me with him. Not often he says stuff like that, so I sure appreciate it when he does! He seems to be doing much better - I think we are past the rough spot... I am really pumped about the trip out to BC this summer, and very excited that he wants to come with me. This guy has become pretty important in my life, and I can't wait for him to meet my family and they him! :-D
Well, that's all for now. I'm feeling better this morning so think I can actually get some website work done. Mom has been sending me updates for over a week now and I haven't been able to get to them yet. Definitely time to get on that! Caio!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
name ideas wanted!
I am brainstorming a new name for my business. For purposes of the program I am applying for, I need to choose a new name. So bring on your ideas! Email me at tehjess@hotmail.com, or leave me a comment on here! Any ideas are welcome.
Here's a couple ideas already brought forward that I kind of like, just to give you an idea and get you thinking. ;-) Itsy Bitsy Web Solutions or Dream Web Productions. My business is website design, particularly targeting small businesses - for those of you who don't know - so something to indicates that in some way is good, something unique and creative... :-)
Here's a couple ideas already brought forward that I kind of like, just to give you an idea and get you thinking. ;-) Itsy Bitsy Web Solutions or Dream Web Productions. My business is website design, particularly targeting small businesses - for those of you who don't know - so something to indicates that in some way is good, something unique and creative... :-)
life, the universe and everything!
Life is busy right now. I am putting together my business plan to submit on Monday to try and get into the Self Employment Assistance program. I didn't realize exactly how much work goes into putting a business plan together! Whew! Not only do you write the actual business plan, but there are supporting documents, a resume, a portfolio - all of which must be prepared, printed and attached! But I'm not one to shy away from such a challenge, and I am actually enjoying putting it all together and seeing my business come together on paper! It's good to put it all into words and to actually define what it is I want to do with my business. I have to include financial statements, and it's interesting to sit down and work out the numbers, and see where I could be in a couple of years - yes, I have to do financials for the first two years! Best educated guess is what they call it. Sales predictions, cash flow statements, etc. Very educational!! I am learning a lot and enjoying seeing how my business can actually be successful!
My love life has also been busier and going well. After the official "break up", we have still been spending time together, and he has been more sweet and romantic than I've seen him in a long time. It's a bit like when we first started dating - except that it's someone I know now. So while we may have offically broken up, it's definitely not over. I'm not sure that my friends are as excited about this as I am. They are probably concerned that I'm just staying in a situation where I'll get hurt again. And I guess if I was in their shoes I would feel the same. But I do know that he's the one I want, that I'm not ready to walk away and I still want him in my life as my significant someone! Perhaps it had to take that "break up" to get things back on track, to get rid of the expectations and give him the space and freedom he needed to not only figure things out in his own personal life, but to figure things out in regards to his relationship with me. I don't know. I'm not going to put a label on what we are now, either. I have been enjoying the quality romantic time together though. He had me over for dinner the other night - complete with wine, the hottub, and a massage, not to mention some hot making out! It was sexy, romantic and made me feel pampered and cared for. He said he realized he's been taking me for granted and he wanted to change that. Yes, I melted, my heart was running all over the floor. It's things like that that make the hard times worth it! I am glad to see him doing better - I was a bit worried about him for a while there, but he seems to be getting things figured out. And for all you readers back home in BC, we are planning a trip out there this summer, so you'll get to meet this guy you've heard so much about!
After two days of rain, I was very glad to wake up and see the sun shining in my window this morning! I was getting tired of the dreary, overcast weather, and am very much looking forward to getting out there and enjoying spring this afternoon! Perhaps winter is really finally over and spring can now bring in summer...??? It feels like forever since I enjoyed a hot sunny day...
My love life has also been busier and going well. After the official "break up", we have still been spending time together, and he has been more sweet and romantic than I've seen him in a long time. It's a bit like when we first started dating - except that it's someone I know now. So while we may have offically broken up, it's definitely not over. I'm not sure that my friends are as excited about this as I am. They are probably concerned that I'm just staying in a situation where I'll get hurt again. And I guess if I was in their shoes I would feel the same. But I do know that he's the one I want, that I'm not ready to walk away and I still want him in my life as my significant someone! Perhaps it had to take that "break up" to get things back on track, to get rid of the expectations and give him the space and freedom he needed to not only figure things out in his own personal life, but to figure things out in regards to his relationship with me. I don't know. I'm not going to put a label on what we are now, either. I have been enjoying the quality romantic time together though. He had me over for dinner the other night - complete with wine, the hottub, and a massage, not to mention some hot making out! It was sexy, romantic and made me feel pampered and cared for. He said he realized he's been taking me for granted and he wanted to change that. Yes, I melted, my heart was running all over the floor. It's things like that that make the hard times worth it! I am glad to see him doing better - I was a bit worried about him for a while there, but he seems to be getting things figured out. And for all you readers back home in BC, we are planning a trip out there this summer, so you'll get to meet this guy you've heard so much about!
After two days of rain, I was very glad to wake up and see the sun shining in my window this morning! I was getting tired of the dreary, overcast weather, and am very much looking forward to getting out there and enjoying spring this afternoon! Perhaps winter is really finally over and spring can now bring in summer...??? It feels like forever since I enjoyed a hot sunny day...
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
miss me?
Well, it's been a little bit since I actually wrote a blog here. Hope you enjoyed the "funnies" though...
I have a busy week happening here. I am taking classes this week - Business Plan Preperation classes - and around that starting to put together my business plan, as well as the usual gym and a few shifts at work. Phew! I have now borrowed a bike, so some things take up less time and I found today that I was able to fit the gym in before class, instead of waiting until the afternoon, or missing because of a lack of time between class and work. So, I am learning to juggle things to get everything to fit in, with some time left for working on my business plan - and a quick blog. Thankfully, I will be cutting back majorly on work shifts here soon. Once I know for sure if I am in this Self Employment Assistance program or not - and I almost for sure will be - then I will go ahead and pretty much quit at the cafe, as I don't want to have to be wasting time on the bus trying to get to a job that I really don't need anymore AND try to run a business full time. Whew. It's already bad enough this week, and I'm only taking morning classes!
I am loving seeing spring on it's way. Snow and ice are melting, it feels more mild out. There is hope that winter is on it's way out! I will not miss it. This one has felt incredibly long and cold. I am more than ready for spring and summer!
Well, that's kinda the major news and what's going on with me. Now I need to go do some work on my business plan before I have to head off to the Caffe. Caio!
I have a busy week happening here. I am taking classes this week - Business Plan Preperation classes - and around that starting to put together my business plan, as well as the usual gym and a few shifts at work. Phew! I have now borrowed a bike, so some things take up less time and I found today that I was able to fit the gym in before class, instead of waiting until the afternoon, or missing because of a lack of time between class and work. So, I am learning to juggle things to get everything to fit in, with some time left for working on my business plan - and a quick blog. Thankfully, I will be cutting back majorly on work shifts here soon. Once I know for sure if I am in this Self Employment Assistance program or not - and I almost for sure will be - then I will go ahead and pretty much quit at the cafe, as I don't want to have to be wasting time on the bus trying to get to a job that I really don't need anymore AND try to run a business full time. Whew. It's already bad enough this week, and I'm only taking morning classes!
I am loving seeing spring on it's way. Snow and ice are melting, it feels more mild out. There is hope that winter is on it's way out! I will not miss it. This one has felt incredibly long and cold. I am more than ready for spring and summer!
Well, that's kinda the major news and what's going on with me. Now I need to go do some work on my business plan before I have to head off to the Caffe. Caio!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
dog on safari
A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dog thinks, "Boy, I'm in deep doo doo now." Then he notices some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees.
"Whew", says the leopard, "that was close. That dog nearly had me."
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.
But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."
Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks," What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey? I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he's still not back!!"
Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees.
"Whew", says the leopard, "that was close. That dog nearly had me."
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.
But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."
Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks," What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey? I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he's still not back!!"
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
how good can it get?
Remember a few weeks ago when I took a walk and asked myself, "How good can it get?"? (For those of you who missed that entry, you'll find it under tea adventures of teh jess on February 18.) Well, this afternoon I had a life-changing experience and as I was reflecting on it all while in the shower tonight I realized, hey, I'm beginning to find out just how good it can get!
And to think this was brought on by a break-up! Have you heard anything more bizarre? I am completely floored by it, let me tell you. All of my previous break-ups have been at least awkward, if not extremely painful for one or both parties. Today, I experienced a very mature, mutual break-up. It hurt more before the fact than during or after. Neither of us wanted it to end, but we both knew it was the right choice. He isn't able to give me what I want and need right now, and I can't go on like it's been, hurting and being disappointed. There has to come a point where I decide I have to take care of me and let him take care of him. One of the things that made it easier and less painful was the fact that I did get what I needed, exactly what I needed. I felt wanted and cared for, and that then gave me the confidence to go ahead and walk away. Not that it was easy - it still hurt, but not at as bad. It felt more like a weight had been lifted off - I think for both of us.
So I am single again, and I'm okay with that. I am now going to focus on me and taking care of me. It's time to get myself well and healthy, and grow a healthy business as well. I feel so positive and hopeful, and ready to take on the world! This isn't the end of something, it's the beginning of something new! A new chapter, a new era. And I'm ready for it. I'm ready to learn and grow some more. I'm ready to continue on in this journey, and to see just how good it can get!!!!
And to think this was brought on by a break-up! Have you heard anything more bizarre? I am completely floored by it, let me tell you. All of my previous break-ups have been at least awkward, if not extremely painful for one or both parties. Today, I experienced a very mature, mutual break-up. It hurt more before the fact than during or after. Neither of us wanted it to end, but we both knew it was the right choice. He isn't able to give me what I want and need right now, and I can't go on like it's been, hurting and being disappointed. There has to come a point where I decide I have to take care of me and let him take care of him. One of the things that made it easier and less painful was the fact that I did get what I needed, exactly what I needed. I felt wanted and cared for, and that then gave me the confidence to go ahead and walk away. Not that it was easy - it still hurt, but not at as bad. It felt more like a weight had been lifted off - I think for both of us.
So I am single again, and I'm okay with that. I am now going to focus on me and taking care of me. It's time to get myself well and healthy, and grow a healthy business as well. I feel so positive and hopeful, and ready to take on the world! This isn't the end of something, it's the beginning of something new! A new chapter, a new era. And I'm ready for it. I'm ready to learn and grow some more. I'm ready to continue on in this journey, and to see just how good it can get!!!!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
heartbreak hotel
It's not the first time this has happened. In fact, if I look back on all of my relationships - not that I've had that many - there are only two that I would call really serious, and only those two men that I actually was in love with. And both relationships went the same direction, resulting in much heartbreak and pain - on my part. Dave was the first one. I went all the way down to South Carolina to see if it would work. It was worth finding out, but it hurt like hell! The thing that kills me the most is that it's not that we were incompatible, or didn't get along, or anything like that really. As far as I was concerned it could have worked. But he couldn't let go of the past, couldn't move on and stop feeling guilty about some things. So I left, ended it, moved on - and he went back to the past, married his ex and quickly regretted it. It hurt. It really hurt. While I was there, I kept hoping that he would get things figured out, realize that he needed to let go, realize that he had a good thing right there in front of him - but no.
And now I'm in a similar situation. Not exactly the same - it never is - but I see too many parallels. This relationship has been longer - 10 or so months - but it started to end the same way. Less and less physical affection, me feeling more and more like I wasn't wanted that way anymore, him saying he had stuff to deal with and try to figure out, me trying to be patient and wait it out, let him deal with his stuff, give him his space, but getting hurt over and over again and feeling the hope fade to disappointment and heart break. They say that hope deferred makes the heart grow sick. Well, my heart is feeling pretty sick right now. And I can't keep doing it. I'm not asking for too much. All I want is what should be part of any healthy relationship - to be wanted, kissed, made love to. That's all I'm asking for. I'm not asking to be given the world. I just want to be wanted and touched. And for some reason, I seem to fall in love with guys who are great at doing that for the first while, and then end up unable to give me that most basic physical element. And a relationship without that physical connection is only a half-ass relationship.
So it's come down to this. Here I am, hanging on to the very last frayed ends of the rope, tired of hurting, tired of riding the roller coaster of hope and disappointment - and I can't do it anymore. I realized this morning that I really only have two simple choices: I end it and walk away, or I stay on the roller coaster and keep re-opening the painful wound over and over. There is no other option at this point. Sure, I can say, oh he might change, he might get things figured out and be there for me again - but I've been saying that for a while already, and there is no guarantee that anything is going to change anytime soon. There's a time for hope and patience, but there's got to come a time when you say enough is enough and realize that it's time to stop putting yourself through it. I'm not asking for too much. I'm asking for something that any number of other men would jump at the chance to give me - and the one I love is unable to. Why am I going through this again? Do I somehow attract and fall in love with men who are likely to do this?
How in the world do I go ahead and made that decision to end it, to walk away, when it hurts so bad I can hardly breathe? I don't want to walk away! I want him in my life! This guy is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I have learned so much from him, grown so much, loved so much, and now hurt so much. He's pretty much exactly what I look for in a man when he's not dealing with shit like he is now. But I can't wait around and keep letting myself get hurt. As much as I love him, as much as I want to be with him, he is just not able to give me what I need right now - and I have to walk away. But it's easier said than done. When someone becomes that much a part of your life, has that big of a place in your heart... To walk away is to leave pieces of myself behind, and creates a gaping wound that will take a lot of time to heal.
And now I'm in a similar situation. Not exactly the same - it never is - but I see too many parallels. This relationship has been longer - 10 or so months - but it started to end the same way. Less and less physical affection, me feeling more and more like I wasn't wanted that way anymore, him saying he had stuff to deal with and try to figure out, me trying to be patient and wait it out, let him deal with his stuff, give him his space, but getting hurt over and over again and feeling the hope fade to disappointment and heart break. They say that hope deferred makes the heart grow sick. Well, my heart is feeling pretty sick right now. And I can't keep doing it. I'm not asking for too much. All I want is what should be part of any healthy relationship - to be wanted, kissed, made love to. That's all I'm asking for. I'm not asking to be given the world. I just want to be wanted and touched. And for some reason, I seem to fall in love with guys who are great at doing that for the first while, and then end up unable to give me that most basic physical element. And a relationship without that physical connection is only a half-ass relationship.
So it's come down to this. Here I am, hanging on to the very last frayed ends of the rope, tired of hurting, tired of riding the roller coaster of hope and disappointment - and I can't do it anymore. I realized this morning that I really only have two simple choices: I end it and walk away, or I stay on the roller coaster and keep re-opening the painful wound over and over. There is no other option at this point. Sure, I can say, oh he might change, he might get things figured out and be there for me again - but I've been saying that for a while already, and there is no guarantee that anything is going to change anytime soon. There's a time for hope and patience, but there's got to come a time when you say enough is enough and realize that it's time to stop putting yourself through it. I'm not asking for too much. I'm asking for something that any number of other men would jump at the chance to give me - and the one I love is unable to. Why am I going through this again? Do I somehow attract and fall in love with men who are likely to do this?
How in the world do I go ahead and made that decision to end it, to walk away, when it hurts so bad I can hardly breathe? I don't want to walk away! I want him in my life! This guy is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I have learned so much from him, grown so much, loved so much, and now hurt so much. He's pretty much exactly what I look for in a man when he's not dealing with shit like he is now. But I can't wait around and keep letting myself get hurt. As much as I love him, as much as I want to be with him, he is just not able to give me what I need right now - and I have to walk away. But it's easier said than done. When someone becomes that much a part of your life, has that big of a place in your heart... To walk away is to leave pieces of myself behind, and creates a gaping wound that will take a lot of time to heal.
Monday, March 3, 2008
snowman sweeties
Well, here's a picture. Figured it was time to show you all one of these pictures they keep sending me. Aren't they cuties? I love the emails I get from them. Kids write the darndest things, don't they?
I am back home from Toronto. Feels good to be back in my own room and not living out of a duffle bag anymore. That's the one thing I hate about traveling. I miss having my own space, with my clothes and everything in their own place. After being away for a few days everything starts to feel disorganized and dirty. Perhaps I am a bit too particular about those kinds of things...
The rest of my trip was good. Spent yesterday just relaxing mainly. Took a stroll down by the lake, went with Nate to fly his cool remote control plane, and went out for a bit to an Irish Pub last night. Then was up early this morning for the train ride home - which I slept through most of. It felt good to get away, but it feels good to be home again. I stepped off the train and it felt almost tropical. The temperature was so much more mild here than the whole weekend in Toronto. lol. But I hear Toronto is warmer today too. Maybe it just didn't like me... Ahahaha.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
kid kuteness
I love my little brother and sister - well, I love ALL of them - but the two littlest ones are just too cute. I got a couple of emails from them tonight and thought I would share, since I know someone else will enjoy them too!
From Destiny:
Dear Jesse,
These are a few pictures of my gerbils. I have two...one is a boy and one is a girl. Pretty soon they are going to have babies. Whitney also has mice and we each have a cat. My gerbil's names are Julus and Julia the second. Whitney's cat's name is Wanderer. My cat's name is Missy. Whitney's is black and mine is grey. I really like my pets and I have Luna as a pet as well. In the picture of Luna, she is under the desk with her toy. I can't think of anything else, so I'll just stop here. I love you, Destiny.
From Whitney:
Hello Jesse,
I am having a fun time with my toys. I hope you are having fun too. Did you like the shark story? I'll tell you more later. I wonder what your house looks like.... I have tons and tons of fun with my pancakes on Sunday. How much fun do you have? These are some pictures of my toys. Most of them are robots. You can see that one of them is a plane. You can see also that the robot is getting into the plane. One mom thought had dragon heads on it. I have tons and tons and tons and tons of fun in spring. I think I like spring better than winter. Don't you? (Oh, right, you don't have winter at your place!) Whitney
Can anyone ask for a better lil bro and sis? I love them. They are the bestest!
From Destiny:
Dear Jesse,
These are a few pictures of my gerbils. I have two...one is a boy and one is a girl. Pretty soon they are going to have babies. Whitney also has mice and we each have a cat. My gerbil's names are Julus and Julia the second. Whitney's cat's name is Wanderer. My cat's name is Missy. Whitney's is black and mine is grey. I really like my pets and I have Luna as a pet as well. In the picture of Luna, she is under the desk with her toy. I can't think of anything else, so I'll just stop here. I love you, Destiny.
From Whitney:
Hello Jesse,
I am having a fun time with my toys. I hope you are having fun too. Did you like the shark story? I'll tell you more later. I wonder what your house looks like.... I have tons and tons of fun with my pancakes on Sunday. How much fun do you have? These are some pictures of my toys. Most of them are robots. You can see that one of them is a plane. You can see also that the robot is getting into the plane. One mom thought had dragon heads on it. I have tons and tons and tons and tons of fun in spring. I think I like spring better than winter. Don't you? (Oh, right, you don't have winter at your place!) Whitney
Can anyone ask for a better lil bro and sis? I love them. They are the bestest!
toronto adventures
Well and so, my Toronto adventure has been interesting so far. I've spent a lot of time wandering around in the cold, waiting for and riding the public transportation, with a little bit of shopping thrown in.
I got on the train in Windsor just before 6pm Thursday night. I enjoyed the train ride - it was my first time on a train. It's a much smoother ride than the bus - and faster as well. They had electrical plugins, so I was able to plug in my laptop and play some Freecell and write and whatnot. That made it more interesting. I arrived in Toronto at about 10pm. Nate met me at the train station and we then took the subway and street car back to his apartment, where he was letting me crash on the couch for the weekend. So that was pretty much that. I got a taste of the big city public transport, enough that I was then able to find my own way the next day.
The next morning I was awake at about 7:30, but just kind of took it easy, did the email thing and whatnot and hung out at Nate's until about 10am or so, then I headed out to wander the city and see what I could discover. I got the streetcar and headed downtown - about a 15 minute ride or so. Once downtown I got off and started to wander - went down underground along "Path", which is 27 miles of underground walkway, shops, connections to the subway and other buildings. Pretty intresting. I walked along that a bit, then decided to go check out the Eaton Centre, which is supposed to be this huge underground mall. It was pretty neat. I managed to find my way on the subway to get there, walked in and almost immediately found "my store". It's called Lush. I had never seen a Lush store before, but I loved it!!! It's all handmade cosmetics - made with natural herbs, essential oils, that kind of thing. From bubble bath to soup to face care products - I was in my own little heaven! I love that natural skin care kind of stuff and am always on the look out for something good for my skin and body. I really like the whole idea of using natural stuff on your skin instead of man-made chemical processed stuff. It's got to be better for you, right?
So I spent a bit of money at "my store", then did some more wondering, found a Mega Wraps in a food court for lunch, then headed over to the Bata Shoe Museum. Yes, a whole museum devoted to shoes! It was pretty interesting. I'm not a huge shoe freak or anything, but when I heard about it I decided to go check it out just because it was something unique and out of the ordinary. It had the whole history of the shoe, and the different styles and whatnot in different cultures, right from the shoes worn by "cavemen", made from bear hide and "weeds" to the blue pumps worn by Princess Dianna, to the huge shoe worn by Shaquille O'Neile - a size 20ee that was at least as long as two of mine! There were examples of the itty bitty shoes worn by chinese women who bound their feet - at small as two or three inches long, and some pretty cool looking sandles from other cultures like Egyptian and African. They had a whole exhibit on shoes in the Roccocan era, like the 1700s and stuff, about how the shoe styles changed with the different rulers and influences and how it corresponded to the changing of the views of the roles of men and women in society and whatnot. Then there was another exhibit all about shoes in the native culture - the beadwork on the moccasins was incredible! Overall, it was a pretty cool place to wander through.
So by the time I was done wandering there I'd had enough of being on my feet for the day and headed back to Nate's to relax for the evening. We had dinner, watched a movie, had some nice red wine, and then it was time for bed. Today was a bit more relaxed. We went to Walmart, then took the streetcar and subway and bus over to the Ontario Science Centre. That was pretty neat to wander through there and play with some of the exhibits. Felt a bit like a little kid again. I liked the Space exhibit - and the meteorite rocks. Pretty cool to think of that stuff being from out in space. Do you ever stop and really think about what it's like out there, or what it would like to be able to travel to other planets and stuff? I do. Especially when I read that kind of science fiction. It facinates me, and makes me feel small.
Well, that's all I have the concentration for tonight. More later... I'm going to watch Family Guy now...
I got on the train in Windsor just before 6pm Thursday night. I enjoyed the train ride - it was my first time on a train. It's a much smoother ride than the bus - and faster as well. They had electrical plugins, so I was able to plug in my laptop and play some Freecell and write and whatnot. That made it more interesting. I arrived in Toronto at about 10pm. Nate met me at the train station and we then took the subway and street car back to his apartment, where he was letting me crash on the couch for the weekend. So that was pretty much that. I got a taste of the big city public transport, enough that I was then able to find my own way the next day.
The next morning I was awake at about 7:30, but just kind of took it easy, did the email thing and whatnot and hung out at Nate's until about 10am or so, then I headed out to wander the city and see what I could discover. I got the streetcar and headed downtown - about a 15 minute ride or so. Once downtown I got off and started to wander - went down underground along "Path", which is 27 miles of underground walkway, shops, connections to the subway and other buildings. Pretty intresting. I walked along that a bit, then decided to go check out the Eaton Centre, which is supposed to be this huge underground mall. It was pretty neat. I managed to find my way on the subway to get there, walked in and almost immediately found "my store". It's called Lush. I had never seen a Lush store before, but I loved it!!! It's all handmade cosmetics - made with natural herbs, essential oils, that kind of thing. From bubble bath to soup to face care products - I was in my own little heaven! I love that natural skin care kind of stuff and am always on the look out for something good for my skin and body. I really like the whole idea of using natural stuff on your skin instead of man-made chemical processed stuff. It's got to be better for you, right?
So I spent a bit of money at "my store", then did some more wondering, found a Mega Wraps in a food court for lunch, then headed over to the Bata Shoe Museum. Yes, a whole museum devoted to shoes! It was pretty interesting. I'm not a huge shoe freak or anything, but when I heard about it I decided to go check it out just because it was something unique and out of the ordinary. It had the whole history of the shoe, and the different styles and whatnot in different cultures, right from the shoes worn by "cavemen", made from bear hide and "weeds" to the blue pumps worn by Princess Dianna, to the huge shoe worn by Shaquille O'Neile - a size 20ee that was at least as long as two of mine! There were examples of the itty bitty shoes worn by chinese women who bound their feet - at small as two or three inches long, and some pretty cool looking sandles from other cultures like Egyptian and African. They had a whole exhibit on shoes in the Roccocan era, like the 1700s and stuff, about how the shoe styles changed with the different rulers and influences and how it corresponded to the changing of the views of the roles of men and women in society and whatnot. Then there was another exhibit all about shoes in the native culture - the beadwork on the moccasins was incredible! Overall, it was a pretty cool place to wander through.
So by the time I was done wandering there I'd had enough of being on my feet for the day and headed back to Nate's to relax for the evening. We had dinner, watched a movie, had some nice red wine, and then it was time for bed. Today was a bit more relaxed. We went to Walmart, then took the streetcar and subway and bus over to the Ontario Science Centre. That was pretty neat to wander through there and play with some of the exhibits. Felt a bit like a little kid again. I liked the Space exhibit - and the meteorite rocks. Pretty cool to think of that stuff being from out in space. Do you ever stop and really think about what it's like out there, or what it would like to be able to travel to other planets and stuff? I do. Especially when I read that kind of science fiction. It facinates me, and makes me feel small.
Well, that's all I have the concentration for tonight. More later... I'm going to watch Family Guy now...
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