When I was a kid, we had this old gun we used to play with. We'd take it out around the barnyard or the rest of the farm, or we'd play with it in the barn, which was where we originally found it.
We had the greatest barn any kid could ask for. It used to be our house, but even my memories of that are very vague (something about a doll and swings in the livingroom and visiting cousins). My clearer memories are from it being a barn.
We found all kinds of treasures in that barn. There was the cow bell, the gun, the kid carseats and the magazines. And that was just the beginning! It must have been junk left after we moved into the new house, but it was unfamiliar to us and incredibly exciting! We'd play in that barn for hours, exploring, playing games and just climbing up and down. We had a place at each end where we could climb up the side, via a window or fence. There were always the stairs, but I guess that was just too damn easy!
In the winter the bottom was often filled with hay, and we'd nudge bales around so we had tunnels and forts in the hay. What great adventures we had! Our cousins did the same thing at their place, and we'd all show then our forts and they'd show us theirs.
Our barn had lots of cats and chickens. Most of the cats were wild - would hide from us, and were a challenge to catch. For that matter, the chickens weren't exactly tame either, although there was a mean rooster or two over the course of time. Also during the winter we'd find frozen eggs, that were cracked, and we'd break them up into little bits and feed them to the chickens - until we indirectly got in trouble when our parents started wondering why the chickens were eating the eggs in the nest! I guess they developed a taste for them...
Then there were the times when "Pastor Denver" would preach a lofty sermon from the top floor, preaching to my sister and I, or just the barnyard animals. Oh to be able to listen in on those sermons now! I'm sure it would be beyond entertaining.
I still dream about that barn, and interestingly enough, the dreams are not good, are in fact often disturbing. I'll go to climb the stairs and they are gone, or I'll be stuck up in the top with no stairs, and unable to climb down the end. I'll spend the entire dream climbing over fences and trying to avoid the electric wires. I'll vie for space with disagreeable or downright threatening horses and other creatures. Or I'll be running or hiding from a bear. Rather curious. My memories of the barn seem to be positive, yet the dreams almost always have at least an underlying panic or fear. Something to ponder...
All in all, I have good memories of that barn. Hunting cats or other creatures, finding treasures or preaching to the barnyard, we knew how to have fun without a tv or video games, that's for sure!
Friday, November 28, 2008
speedwealth
I got up early this morning - because I wanted to. Jon always gets up around 6-6:30, but I'll often sleep for another hour or two after that. This morning I was laying there contemplating whether or not to get up. A bit more sleep sounded good, but I felt like I should get up. Want to know what was the deciding factor? SpeedWealth. You see, a big part of the reason I didn't want to get up, was I didn't really have anything to look forward to. I figured, what the hell will I do if I get up early anyway? Have a shower and then piss away a couple hours on Facebook until I'm ready to start work? That doesn't get me very excited... Then I thought of something: I had downloaded this ebook after we got back from that conference - it was one that they talked about that both Jon and I wanted to read. So I had it on my computer, but hadn't actually sat down and read it through yet. As soon as I thought of it, though, I knew I had a reason to get out of bed!
So up I got, excited about digging into this ebook, and was it ever worth it! Let me tell you a bit about this book and maybe you'll get excited too!
SpeedWealth is written by T. Harv Eker, one of the self-made millionaire "gurus". The conference that we went to last weekend was put on by his company, and he is the one who originally wrote the Secrets of the Millionaire Mind that the conference was based on. (Haven't read that one yet...) The company seems to have gone downhill a fair bit since he first started teaching people, but luckily the book was written over 10 years ago and has some excellent principles and steps. The whole idea of the book is to give you 7 steps to follow in your business to make a million (or more) in 3 - 5 years. Sound good?
So I dug into this book this morning, hoping to pick up some tips for my business, and to find a system that I could follow to turn my business into a money-making machine that will work for me and without me eventually. And boy did I ever! I have a feeling that a few years down the road I may be looking back on this day and this book as the turning point in my business, and in my life! (Or at least a major turning point, as I'm sure there will be others.)
That being said, let me share with you what I've gleaned from this book so far. I need to develop my business into a system, where everything is systemized, from how and where I market, right down to how I actually design the site and get it live. Once a system is in place, then it can be done by anybody, and I can hire someone to manage, hire people to do the actual design work, etc, and the business can run without me. This is what is called passive business income. It works and makes money whether I'm there or not. Perfect!
But it goes even further. Not only can the business run without me, so that I can go and do whatever the hell I want elsewhere on other projects, but I now have a system that I can duplicate and sell (franchising). Not only that, but the business itself is worth a hell of a lot more and can be sold for a lot!
Now this gets me excited. But there's even more to the story. As I was reading through this book I started to get practical ideas to apply to my business right now, and now I'm really excited! It's one thing to read something with some good principles, steps, ideas, etc, but to actually have something to apply to my life right now is fantastic - it means I can actually do this!
So the ideas started flowing and I had to get up and get a pad of paper to start writing stuff down. I got one major idea that I am going to implement today that I think is going to really impact my marketing, sales and the whole business. I am going to find sales people to sell websites for me for a commission. Up to this point I've already planned to pay cash for referrals, but this is taking that a big step further. I am actually going to market and advertise this opportunity, and interview people who are interested, so that I get quality, skilled sales people who will best represent my company. And I'm going to develop the system as I go, so that they all do it the same way, the clients are all handled the same way, and so it can be done over and over again.
Do you see the possibilities now? Do you see the potential for your own business opportunities? This got me so excited that I had to immediately sit down and blog about it. Not only that, but I want to share the book with you, because I believe it can change your life and the way you do business as well. I am on my way to success and wealth, and I want to take as many people with me as I possibly can!
SpeedWealth by T. Harv Eker - download here.
So up I got, excited about digging into this ebook, and was it ever worth it! Let me tell you a bit about this book and maybe you'll get excited too!
SpeedWealth is written by T. Harv Eker, one of the self-made millionaire "gurus". The conference that we went to last weekend was put on by his company, and he is the one who originally wrote the Secrets of the Millionaire Mind that the conference was based on. (Haven't read that one yet...) The company seems to have gone downhill a fair bit since he first started teaching people, but luckily the book was written over 10 years ago and has some excellent principles and steps. The whole idea of the book is to give you 7 steps to follow in your business to make a million (or more) in 3 - 5 years. Sound good?
So I dug into this book this morning, hoping to pick up some tips for my business, and to find a system that I could follow to turn my business into a money-making machine that will work for me and without me eventually. And boy did I ever! I have a feeling that a few years down the road I may be looking back on this day and this book as the turning point in my business, and in my life! (Or at least a major turning point, as I'm sure there will be others.)
That being said, let me share with you what I've gleaned from this book so far. I need to develop my business into a system, where everything is systemized, from how and where I market, right down to how I actually design the site and get it live. Once a system is in place, then it can be done by anybody, and I can hire someone to manage, hire people to do the actual design work, etc, and the business can run without me. This is what is called passive business income. It works and makes money whether I'm there or not. Perfect!
But it goes even further. Not only can the business run without me, so that I can go and do whatever the hell I want elsewhere on other projects, but I now have a system that I can duplicate and sell (franchising). Not only that, but the business itself is worth a hell of a lot more and can be sold for a lot!
Now this gets me excited. But there's even more to the story. As I was reading through this book I started to get practical ideas to apply to my business right now, and now I'm really excited! It's one thing to read something with some good principles, steps, ideas, etc, but to actually have something to apply to my life right now is fantastic - it means I can actually do this!
So the ideas started flowing and I had to get up and get a pad of paper to start writing stuff down. I got one major idea that I am going to implement today that I think is going to really impact my marketing, sales and the whole business. I am going to find sales people to sell websites for me for a commission. Up to this point I've already planned to pay cash for referrals, but this is taking that a big step further. I am actually going to market and advertise this opportunity, and interview people who are interested, so that I get quality, skilled sales people who will best represent my company. And I'm going to develop the system as I go, so that they all do it the same way, the clients are all handled the same way, and so it can be done over and over again.
Do you see the possibilities now? Do you see the potential for your own business opportunities? This got me so excited that I had to immediately sit down and blog about it. Not only that, but I want to share the book with you, because I believe it can change your life and the way you do business as well. I am on my way to success and wealth, and I want to take as many people with me as I possibly can!
SpeedWealth by T. Harv Eker - download here.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
time to turn up the thermostat!
"It's better to give than to receive." Did you know that saying was originally a greek saying? And did you know that the actual translation is "It is better to be in a position to give than in a position where you have to receive"? Funny how things get so skewed and taken out of context, huh?
This was something I learned at the conference on the weekend. We talked about being good receivers. When someone compliments you, what should you do? You should simply say, "Thank you". Don't compliment them back. Simply receive it with a thank you and let them have the joy of giving the compliment. Or if someone offers to pay for your meal, don't argue with them over who is going to foot the bill - just say "Thank you" and let them have the pleasure of giving! I think we could all learn to be better receivers!
This applies to money and wealth as well. No one deserves to be poor. It is not more noble to be poor. And you are certainly not less spiritual if you are rich! I grew up with the mindset that it was noble to be poor and that rich people were greedy or had done something wrong to get all that money. Guess what? This is wrong! Generally speaking, it is poor people who are greedy and selfish, because all they are worried about is making ends meet for themselves! I've seen this in my own life. When I'm broke, that's all I'm worried about! I'm FAR less likely to help someone else out, because I'm so damn worried about my own finances. Wealthy people, on the other hand, are financially free, they don't have to worry about bills and making ends meet. They are in a much better position to help those around them and to give back some of their wealth to the world.
Somehow our society has passed on the belief that you should be satisfied with what you have, that you should work hard for your money, have a good career to support yourself, and be content with only what you need to survive. Anyone else see something wrong with this picture? How did money become so "evil"? And how we become such slaves to it?
Think about it: how much time do you spend worrying about money? Do you have to scrape to pay your bills? Do you have to work long days, or at a job you don't like, just to make enough to survive? That's certainly the boat I've been in my whole life! But I sincerely believe it doesn't have to be like that, and I am committed to obtaining financial freedom. I am committed to making my money work hard for me, instead of the other way around, and working smarter instead of harder. Anyone else want the same?
We each have a financial "thermostat", a level that we are comfortable at, because we are used to it, and because we subconsciously believe that is the level we should be at. We maintain that thermostat, and if our financial situation gets higher than that, we sabotage it, usually without ever realizing that we are! Hence the reason that in order to achieve wealth and the success I want, I have to change the way I think and the beliefs I have. I've been programmed to be poor - it's all that I've ever been taught! But guess what? Wealth is a learnable skill. Success is a learnable skill. Making lots of money in business is a learnable skill. It doesn't matter what you want to do or what you want to achieve - it is a learnable skill! If someone else has done it, then you most definitely can too!!! The only difference between me and a wealthy person is that they know something I don't!
It's so easy to complain, to blame other people and circumstances for where we are. I've certainly caught myself doing it many times! But guess what? I create my own life. No one else is responsible for where I am and how I'm doing. No one. I have the power to create exactly the life that I want! Again, it's a learnable skill! You can have reasons and excuses, or you can have results, but generally you can't have both. Or as Mr. Ford put it, "Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't, you're right!"
I want to be able to look back when I'm 30 on the last five years and be amazed at how far I've come. I want to be successful and rich, instead of explain why I'm not! And so I am no longer going to make excuses and give reasons. I'm going to get results instead!
This was something I learned at the conference on the weekend. We talked about being good receivers. When someone compliments you, what should you do? You should simply say, "Thank you". Don't compliment them back. Simply receive it with a thank you and let them have the joy of giving the compliment. Or if someone offers to pay for your meal, don't argue with them over who is going to foot the bill - just say "Thank you" and let them have the pleasure of giving! I think we could all learn to be better receivers!
This applies to money and wealth as well. No one deserves to be poor. It is not more noble to be poor. And you are certainly not less spiritual if you are rich! I grew up with the mindset that it was noble to be poor and that rich people were greedy or had done something wrong to get all that money. Guess what? This is wrong! Generally speaking, it is poor people who are greedy and selfish, because all they are worried about is making ends meet for themselves! I've seen this in my own life. When I'm broke, that's all I'm worried about! I'm FAR less likely to help someone else out, because I'm so damn worried about my own finances. Wealthy people, on the other hand, are financially free, they don't have to worry about bills and making ends meet. They are in a much better position to help those around them and to give back some of their wealth to the world.
Somehow our society has passed on the belief that you should be satisfied with what you have, that you should work hard for your money, have a good career to support yourself, and be content with only what you need to survive. Anyone else see something wrong with this picture? How did money become so "evil"? And how we become such slaves to it?
Think about it: how much time do you spend worrying about money? Do you have to scrape to pay your bills? Do you have to work long days, or at a job you don't like, just to make enough to survive? That's certainly the boat I've been in my whole life! But I sincerely believe it doesn't have to be like that, and I am committed to obtaining financial freedom. I am committed to making my money work hard for me, instead of the other way around, and working smarter instead of harder. Anyone else want the same?
We each have a financial "thermostat", a level that we are comfortable at, because we are used to it, and because we subconsciously believe that is the level we should be at. We maintain that thermostat, and if our financial situation gets higher than that, we sabotage it, usually without ever realizing that we are! Hence the reason that in order to achieve wealth and the success I want, I have to change the way I think and the beliefs I have. I've been programmed to be poor - it's all that I've ever been taught! But guess what? Wealth is a learnable skill. Success is a learnable skill. Making lots of money in business is a learnable skill. It doesn't matter what you want to do or what you want to achieve - it is a learnable skill! If someone else has done it, then you most definitely can too!!! The only difference between me and a wealthy person is that they know something I don't!
It's so easy to complain, to blame other people and circumstances for where we are. I've certainly caught myself doing it many times! But guess what? I create my own life. No one else is responsible for where I am and how I'm doing. No one. I have the power to create exactly the life that I want! Again, it's a learnable skill! You can have reasons and excuses, or you can have results, but generally you can't have both. Or as Mr. Ford put it, "Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't, you're right!"
I want to be able to look back when I'm 30 on the last five years and be amazed at how far I've come. I want to be successful and rich, instead of explain why I'm not! And so I am no longer going to make excuses and give reasons. I'm going to get results instead!
Monday, November 24, 2008
business proposal?
I had an interesting situation with a potential client/employer lately. I found the ad on Kijiji for a website manager and thought I'd check it out. Who knows? I responded to the ad and said that was right up my alley and I'd be interested in finding out more. The guy called me and told me about the project. It sounded very interesting, and like it could potentially be an ongoing thing as well. I was definitely interested and a bit excited. So we both decided that we were interested in discussing it further for sure and agreed to meet up when I got back from Chicago. During the course of this conversation he mentioned that he would like to meet at his place. His office is there, and I would likely be doing some of the work from there as well.
I wasn't sure how I felt about this at the time, so didn't say anything, just said we'll talk about it on Monday. After thinking about it over the weekend, I was really not feeling comfortable with it, even though he had suggested I bring Jon, and it sounded like his wife was going to be there as well. It just didn't sit right with me. On a first meeting like that, for a business thing, I like to meet in a neutral place, meet somewhere for coffee or a beer. So when I called him today I mentioned that. Had to leave a voicemail as he wasn't home, but I mentioned it in the message and asked him to call me and let me know his thoughts.
Oh boy did he ever! He called me back and right off the bat said that wasn't acceptable. He asked why I didn't want to meet at his place, and I explained that it wasn't anything personal, I just wasn't comfortable with it and didn't like to do business that way, that I wanted to meet somewhere neutral first. He didn't get it. He didn't get it at all. He even got his wife on the phone to talk to me and she didn't get it either. It amazed me that not only did they not seem to see my point of view, they didn't even seem to respect it. They basically said if you won't come to our house for this meeting, then we don't want you to work for us.
Wow. I find myself nearly constantly surprised and shaking my head over people - the way they act, what they say. What happened to common sense and common courtesy? It's obviously not so common anymore!
Don't worry, I didn't cave. I stood up for myself, stuck to my guns and my professional standards - and didn't get the project. Which I am now very thankful for. Sure, it sounded like a great project, but if they were soooo discourteous and almost rude about something like that, then I'm glad I got out before getting in and before something came up later on when things were more complicated and I had more invested in it! Always better to have those issues show up early early on.
So it was a good learning experience for me, a good chance to practice being assertive and standing up for myself. I'm learning to really appreciate these opportunities to get outside of my comfort zone and to grow. After all, if I always stay where I'm comfortable, I will never achieve the success, wealth, adventure and all that good stuff that I want. So hurray for uncomfortable opportunities to grow!
I wasn't sure how I felt about this at the time, so didn't say anything, just said we'll talk about it on Monday. After thinking about it over the weekend, I was really not feeling comfortable with it, even though he had suggested I bring Jon, and it sounded like his wife was going to be there as well. It just didn't sit right with me. On a first meeting like that, for a business thing, I like to meet in a neutral place, meet somewhere for coffee or a beer. So when I called him today I mentioned that. Had to leave a voicemail as he wasn't home, but I mentioned it in the message and asked him to call me and let me know his thoughts.
Oh boy did he ever! He called me back and right off the bat said that wasn't acceptable. He asked why I didn't want to meet at his place, and I explained that it wasn't anything personal, I just wasn't comfortable with it and didn't like to do business that way, that I wanted to meet somewhere neutral first. He didn't get it. He didn't get it at all. He even got his wife on the phone to talk to me and she didn't get it either. It amazed me that not only did they not seem to see my point of view, they didn't even seem to respect it. They basically said if you won't come to our house for this meeting, then we don't want you to work for us.
Wow. I find myself nearly constantly surprised and shaking my head over people - the way they act, what they say. What happened to common sense and common courtesy? It's obviously not so common anymore!
Don't worry, I didn't cave. I stood up for myself, stuck to my guns and my professional standards - and didn't get the project. Which I am now very thankful for. Sure, it sounded like a great project, but if they were soooo discourteous and almost rude about something like that, then I'm glad I got out before getting in and before something came up later on when things were more complicated and I had more invested in it! Always better to have those issues show up early early on.
So it was a good learning experience for me, a good chance to practice being assertive and standing up for myself. I'm learning to really appreciate these opportunities to get outside of my comfort zone and to grow. After all, if I always stay where I'm comfortable, I will never achieve the success, wealth, adventure and all that good stuff that I want. So hurray for uncomfortable opportunities to grow!
seminar psychology
Jon and I spent the weekend at a Millionaire Mind Intensive conference in Chicago. I will get into more details on my thoughts, insights, and more in other posts, but to start, I found some fascinating parallels between this and other seminars and conferences that I have been to.
I've attended a fair number of conferences over the last few years. During my early-early 20s, I was heavily involved in the religious/spiritual scene and attended numerous prophetic conferences, and have since attended other "secular" ones on topics such as internet marketing and developing a millionaire mind. I find the parallels fascinating - and in some cases disturbing. (Now don't get your knickers in a knot. I realize there is a fairly broad spectrum of people in my readership, and some of you will likely be offended - relax. Please. I am not attacking you or your beliefs. If need be, let's agree to disagree, okay?)
Most of these events are charged by hype and energy - which is not a bad thing. Where the problem comes in is when you get carried away by it. Energy is good - energy is GREAT. Energy is what gets you results, and you cannot and will not be successful without it! I love the energy at these things! But I am learning to also go in with a healthy amount of skepticism. Skepticism is also a good thing - as long as it doesn't develop into cynicism!
This event that we attended over the weekend contained some major hype and energy. The topic was about developing a millionaire mind - which included things such as recognizing and replacing un-supportive beliefs that you have about money, identifying opportunities to become wealthy (no matter what the economy is like), and learning how to make your money work hard for you - instead of you working hard for your money! The major focus was on changing the way you think and learning to think like a rich person instead of a poor person. Rather powerful, actually. There was some very good information presented, and I definitely learned some valuable things to apply in my own life.
What I found fascinating was the parallels between this conference and the christian/"prophetic" ones I used to attend. Guess what? There are some surprising similarities! Let's start with the "fear factor"...
Perhaps the most disturbing thing to me was this element of fear. This is a common thread at all of these things! The speaker/presenter uses fear very well to manipulate the crowd. It may be a fear of not having money, or working hard all your life only to find that you can't retire, or retirement isn't what you thought it would be. It may be a fear of darkness, demons, the devil, hell. It may be a fear of not being good enough, a fear of not measuring up to what others are doing (others around you, or the people in the examples they use). It may be a fear of sickness and disease, or a fear of poverty. It may even be a fear of being stuck in a boring religion, or a fear of spending the rest of your life just paying bills from paycheck to paycheck.
Or how about the fear of missing something at the conference itself? I've felt that one! They like that one. You are encouraged right from the beginning to be open, to not worry about what people around you think and to participate to the fullest degree that you can. You are told that if you don't, you won't get the most that you can out of it and you will miss something that could change your life. This may in fact be very true - whether it is true or not isn't the point. But it is a common theme at all of these things, and is used to get the response that the speaker wants, whether it be "coming to Jesus", signing up for another course, purchasing products, or whatever the case may be. The great evangelists wield it like a weapon, with their elaborations on hellfire and demonic possession. After all, who does want to go to hell, or be possessed by a subtle, yet deadly, demon?
I'm not quite sure where I stand on the tactic myself. I think it can be good to a point - after all, it is good to realize where we really stand, and to recognize problems or issues in our lives that we want to change. But how ethical is it to use that fear to manipulate people? Looking back on my experiences, I can recognize some of the ways that manipulation influenced me. The majority of the time, they provided a fix, or showed you the way to the fix, and things were great - for a while. But after coming down from the high of the conference, how often did I really hang on to that change? And how often did I give a donation, buy a product, or sign up for something as a result of that manipulation?
Another common theme is the testimonials, stories and examples. No one knows how many of them are even true, or how many have been embellished to make the point they want to make. The speaker has often been through some very trying time - a physical infirmity, a life of drug addiction, the loss of everything good in their life, or some such fantastic story and experience. Drastic and dramatic situations and stories suck people right in. We sympathize, empathize, feel sorry and want to help in any way we can. It gets our guard down and makes us much more likely to want to do what the person suggests or asks.
Or how about the speakers who have been where we are? The speaker at the conference this weekend mentioned many times how he started right where we were sitting. IN FACT, he sat in the very back row in the corner - sound familiar? In other words, he was the BIGGEST skeptic in the place - and he was convinced, so it must be the way to go! This follows suit in the other conferences as well. The speaker will tell how they were the biggest skeptic, the one who came in only for a few minutes, determined that they would leave before it had barely begun, or how they were dragged there by someone else. And of course, now they are up on the stage. They were convinced and sold on it. Or they will bring out their mentees, people who also sat where we are sitting and who decided they wanted to be trained by these people, and are now doing crusades all over the world, or are making $20,000 per weekend teaching seminars. Again, a common theme across the board!
Or, how many times have you been to some such big event where they DIDN'T ask you for money or try to sell you something? There is nothing wrong with selling, promoting, asking for donations. Don't get me wrong on that. Although it would be refreshing to attend an event where all they did was offer information, training, teaching and try to help you, without any promoting, selling or asking for donations. There are always people who want to buy the products, or donate to the cause, without being manipulated and pressured into doing so. And it is very possible to give them the opportunity, without promoting, selling, or asking for donations.
Which leads me to my last common theme: the pre-sell. We noticed it big time at this conference. They did provide some excellent teaching and information, but a lot of it was just "teasers", and you could always tell when they were leading up to another sale, because the information they promised was really good, something you really wanted to know - and it would turn into just a teaser, with more promised if you attended the particular course they were promoting. The pre-sells were always looong, they would spend about half the session talking about it - without really talking about it, trying to get you hooked. Now it's not always this bad, of course. But let's take a look at the christian version: the offering appeal. These can get incredibly flowery and drawn out at conferences! They will do a whole little mini-sermon before the offering, all about giving and how it is better to give than to receive (more about that in my next post) - and if you are paying attention, you can see it coming from a mile away! You can pick up on the clues and go, oh, look, here comes the offering, 30 minutes before they actually pass around the basket or bucket to collect. They will tie in some great points, some teaching, some "promises" of what you will or may get back. Their goal? To get everyone pumped up about it and wanting to give when the basket comes around. And how many of those people will later feel manipulated and "talked out" of their money?
Again, there's nothing wrong with giving, donating, buying, etc. But it seems to me that it would be much better to let people do so of their own accord, their own idea, and feel good about it much later, than to manipulate them, make them feel guilty about it, or tease them into it. In the long run, sure, you've got their money - but you sure don't have their trust!
Fascinating, isn't it? Perhaps a bit disturbing, as it was for me, to realize this. But here's the lesson I took away from it: don't check your mind at the door! Yes, do go into it with an open mind, ready and willing to learn everything you can to apply in your own life. Do participate, get excited, experience the energy. But don't leave your mind at the door! Don't be sucked into the hype. Realize that they do use these tactics, and don't make an impulse decision that you will later regret. Leave your money, credit card, etc outside, don't even take it in with you! You can always purchase or donate later, when your head is clear and you know that it is what you want, and what is right for you. With that out of that way, you can enjoy yourself and get everything that you can out of the meeting.
I've attended a fair number of conferences over the last few years. During my early-early 20s, I was heavily involved in the religious/spiritual scene and attended numerous prophetic conferences, and have since attended other "secular" ones on topics such as internet marketing and developing a millionaire mind. I find the parallels fascinating - and in some cases disturbing. (Now don't get your knickers in a knot. I realize there is a fairly broad spectrum of people in my readership, and some of you will likely be offended - relax. Please. I am not attacking you or your beliefs. If need be, let's agree to disagree, okay?)
Most of these events are charged by hype and energy - which is not a bad thing. Where the problem comes in is when you get carried away by it. Energy is good - energy is GREAT. Energy is what gets you results, and you cannot and will not be successful without it! I love the energy at these things! But I am learning to also go in with a healthy amount of skepticism. Skepticism is also a good thing - as long as it doesn't develop into cynicism!
This event that we attended over the weekend contained some major hype and energy. The topic was about developing a millionaire mind - which included things such as recognizing and replacing un-supportive beliefs that you have about money, identifying opportunities to become wealthy (no matter what the economy is like), and learning how to make your money work hard for you - instead of you working hard for your money! The major focus was on changing the way you think and learning to think like a rich person instead of a poor person. Rather powerful, actually. There was some very good information presented, and I definitely learned some valuable things to apply in my own life.
What I found fascinating was the parallels between this conference and the christian/"prophetic" ones I used to attend. Guess what? There are some surprising similarities! Let's start with the "fear factor"...
Perhaps the most disturbing thing to me was this element of fear. This is a common thread at all of these things! The speaker/presenter uses fear very well to manipulate the crowd. It may be a fear of not having money, or working hard all your life only to find that you can't retire, or retirement isn't what you thought it would be. It may be a fear of darkness, demons, the devil, hell. It may be a fear of not being good enough, a fear of not measuring up to what others are doing (others around you, or the people in the examples they use). It may be a fear of sickness and disease, or a fear of poverty. It may even be a fear of being stuck in a boring religion, or a fear of spending the rest of your life just paying bills from paycheck to paycheck.
Or how about the fear of missing something at the conference itself? I've felt that one! They like that one. You are encouraged right from the beginning to be open, to not worry about what people around you think and to participate to the fullest degree that you can. You are told that if you don't, you won't get the most that you can out of it and you will miss something that could change your life. This may in fact be very true - whether it is true or not isn't the point. But it is a common theme at all of these things, and is used to get the response that the speaker wants, whether it be "coming to Jesus", signing up for another course, purchasing products, or whatever the case may be. The great evangelists wield it like a weapon, with their elaborations on hellfire and demonic possession. After all, who does want to go to hell, or be possessed by a subtle, yet deadly, demon?
I'm not quite sure where I stand on the tactic myself. I think it can be good to a point - after all, it is good to realize where we really stand, and to recognize problems or issues in our lives that we want to change. But how ethical is it to use that fear to manipulate people? Looking back on my experiences, I can recognize some of the ways that manipulation influenced me. The majority of the time, they provided a fix, or showed you the way to the fix, and things were great - for a while. But after coming down from the high of the conference, how often did I really hang on to that change? And how often did I give a donation, buy a product, or sign up for something as a result of that manipulation?
Another common theme is the testimonials, stories and examples. No one knows how many of them are even true, or how many have been embellished to make the point they want to make. The speaker has often been through some very trying time - a physical infirmity, a life of drug addiction, the loss of everything good in their life, or some such fantastic story and experience. Drastic and dramatic situations and stories suck people right in. We sympathize, empathize, feel sorry and want to help in any way we can. It gets our guard down and makes us much more likely to want to do what the person suggests or asks.
Or how about the speakers who have been where we are? The speaker at the conference this weekend mentioned many times how he started right where we were sitting. IN FACT, he sat in the very back row in the corner - sound familiar? In other words, he was the BIGGEST skeptic in the place - and he was convinced, so it must be the way to go! This follows suit in the other conferences as well. The speaker will tell how they were the biggest skeptic, the one who came in only for a few minutes, determined that they would leave before it had barely begun, or how they were dragged there by someone else. And of course, now they are up on the stage. They were convinced and sold on it. Or they will bring out their mentees, people who also sat where we are sitting and who decided they wanted to be trained by these people, and are now doing crusades all over the world, or are making $20,000 per weekend teaching seminars. Again, a common theme across the board!
Or, how many times have you been to some such big event where they DIDN'T ask you for money or try to sell you something? There is nothing wrong with selling, promoting, asking for donations. Don't get me wrong on that. Although it would be refreshing to attend an event where all they did was offer information, training, teaching and try to help you, without any promoting, selling or asking for donations. There are always people who want to buy the products, or donate to the cause, without being manipulated and pressured into doing so. And it is very possible to give them the opportunity, without promoting, selling, or asking for donations.
Which leads me to my last common theme: the pre-sell. We noticed it big time at this conference. They did provide some excellent teaching and information, but a lot of it was just "teasers", and you could always tell when they were leading up to another sale, because the information they promised was really good, something you really wanted to know - and it would turn into just a teaser, with more promised if you attended the particular course they were promoting. The pre-sells were always looong, they would spend about half the session talking about it - without really talking about it, trying to get you hooked. Now it's not always this bad, of course. But let's take a look at the christian version: the offering appeal. These can get incredibly flowery and drawn out at conferences! They will do a whole little mini-sermon before the offering, all about giving and how it is better to give than to receive (more about that in my next post) - and if you are paying attention, you can see it coming from a mile away! You can pick up on the clues and go, oh, look, here comes the offering, 30 minutes before they actually pass around the basket or bucket to collect. They will tie in some great points, some teaching, some "promises" of what you will or may get back. Their goal? To get everyone pumped up about it and wanting to give when the basket comes around. And how many of those people will later feel manipulated and "talked out" of their money?
Again, there's nothing wrong with giving, donating, buying, etc. But it seems to me that it would be much better to let people do so of their own accord, their own idea, and feel good about it much later, than to manipulate them, make them feel guilty about it, or tease them into it. In the long run, sure, you've got their money - but you sure don't have their trust!
Fascinating, isn't it? Perhaps a bit disturbing, as it was for me, to realize this. But here's the lesson I took away from it: don't check your mind at the door! Yes, do go into it with an open mind, ready and willing to learn everything you can to apply in your own life. Do participate, get excited, experience the energy. But don't leave your mind at the door! Don't be sucked into the hype. Realize that they do use these tactics, and don't make an impulse decision that you will later regret. Leave your money, credit card, etc outside, don't even take it in with you! You can always purchase or donate later, when your head is clear and you know that it is what you want, and what is right for you. With that out of that way, you can enjoy yourself and get everything that you can out of the meeting.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
handmade christmas
I didn't get excited about christmas last year. It was the first year I couldn't go home for it, and Jon had his kids, so I spent christmas morning by myself. That was the hardest part. I had dinner with Jon later in the day, and we exchanged gifts. It was enjoyable, but it just wasn't christmas without the christmas morning stockings and special breakfast. So this year I was thinking maybe I'll let myself get excited about it - and tug Jon along with me. It would be fun to start some of our own christmas traditions.
I remember when I was a kid how my parents made a lot of our gifts. I remember wood letters on wheels - our initials. Little wooden boxes with red velvet lining for our hair clips, and handmade scrunchies in various colors and patterns. One year it was slippers - moccasin style.
I remember the years when the extended family made stuff. We'd all get together at Grandma's house for christmas, all the aunts, uncles and cousins. Each family would have made a christmas tree ornament - and brought enough for every family to have one. We'd go home with a handful of handmade decorations. There was some pretty sweet shit made! I remember a walnut shell cradle with an acorn mouse in it, or a Round-to-it - made with a red wooden circle hung on a grey pipe cleaner and labeled (so you couldn't use the excuse that you didn't get around to it).
Christmas in those days was much simpler - and FAR more exciting! It reminds me of Little House on the Prairie where they got a stick of candy, a penny and a tin cup - and were thrilled to get it! Try giving that to your kid now - you'd be stoned! ;) The season has become much too commercialized now. Instead of spending wonderful hours making individual gifts for our loved ones, we join the mad throng of shoppers, buying gifts that a good percentage won't even be enjoyed or needed. You hear people talking about "what they want for christmas" or "what they think they're getting for christmas", and it has become all about buying "stuff".
So I am contemplating going back to my roots and going handmade this christmas. At least the majority of it. The funny thing is, I did some cleaning a couple months ago and got rid of a whole wack of stuff, including my crafting supplies, the little that I had, at least. Now I am kicking myself - but who knew I would actually decide to use it so soon? It did feel good to de-junk and de-clutter - and come to think of it, it's pretty easy to hit the dollar store and get a handful of supplies for whatever I decide to do this year. The moral of the story? I still think it's better to be quick to get rid of stuff than to hold on to it forever just because you might want it or use it someday. The someday doesn't come as often as we think it might...
I remember when I was a kid how my parents made a lot of our gifts. I remember wood letters on wheels - our initials. Little wooden boxes with red velvet lining for our hair clips, and handmade scrunchies in various colors and patterns. One year it was slippers - moccasin style.
I remember the years when the extended family made stuff. We'd all get together at Grandma's house for christmas, all the aunts, uncles and cousins. Each family would have made a christmas tree ornament - and brought enough for every family to have one. We'd go home with a handful of handmade decorations. There was some pretty sweet shit made! I remember a walnut shell cradle with an acorn mouse in it, or a Round-to-it - made with a red wooden circle hung on a grey pipe cleaner and labeled (so you couldn't use the excuse that you didn't get around to it).
Christmas in those days was much simpler - and FAR more exciting! It reminds me of Little House on the Prairie where they got a stick of candy, a penny and a tin cup - and were thrilled to get it! Try giving that to your kid now - you'd be stoned! ;) The season has become much too commercialized now. Instead of spending wonderful hours making individual gifts for our loved ones, we join the mad throng of shoppers, buying gifts that a good percentage won't even be enjoyed or needed. You hear people talking about "what they want for christmas" or "what they think they're getting for christmas", and it has become all about buying "stuff".
So I am contemplating going back to my roots and going handmade this christmas. At least the majority of it. The funny thing is, I did some cleaning a couple months ago and got rid of a whole wack of stuff, including my crafting supplies, the little that I had, at least. Now I am kicking myself - but who knew I would actually decide to use it so soon? It did feel good to de-junk and de-clutter - and come to think of it, it's pretty easy to hit the dollar store and get a handful of supplies for whatever I decide to do this year. The moral of the story? I still think it's better to be quick to get rid of stuff than to hold on to it forever just because you might want it or use it someday. The someday doesn't come as often as we think it might...
Friday, November 7, 2008
sunsets and the big picture
What is it about sunsets that grab us? Is it purely the artistic visual aspect, or is there something more, something emotional or spiritual? I have no answer for that myself - it just makes me curious. (And if you have an answer, or some thoughts, I'd love to hear them as well!)I saw a couple of spectacular sunsets during my BC trip, and was able to capture them fairly well with my awesome new pink camera. (hehehe) For me I think it's the colors, the way the clouds fire up, and the deep intensity of the purples, oranges and yellows. I love nature, I love looking at it and capturing what I can of it. It's fascinating to me how it all works too, and to step back and allow yourself to see the big picture.
When I stand and look at a mountain, it reminds me of how very small I am. And to see that same mountain from the air, looking down on it, makes the big picture even grander - and me even smaller! I don't know about you, but I tend to get so caught up in my day to day life that I forget that big picture, and see everything in small sizes - everything except my problems and worries, that is. But when I stop and think about it, and really look around me, it doesn't take long to realize that my problems, my life, my worries, are entirely insignificant in the grand scheme of things! I am one tiny person, living on a tiny planet, in a little solar system in a galaxy that is just one in millions in the universe! How does that put things in perspective for you?When I look at a sunset, it gives me an inkling of the bigger picture. I know how it works - or the jist of it at least. I know that it's not really the sun going down, it's the earth that's turning away from the sun (and around the sun), and that the sun is really this hugely ginormous ball of gas that is extremely far away from the earth. That also puts it in perspective for me. The colors are absolutely breathtaking, and it's quite a show, but it's more than that in the bigger picture. And to me that makes it even more breathtaking. This universe is a beautiful thing - and I'm only seeing a very very very small piece of it!
Flying definitely gives me this sense of the big picture - in a small plane, or in a commercial jet. I always go for the window seat, because I love to see the land from that high in the air. On my last flight, from Calgary to London ON, it was pretty clear the whole way, very few clouds, so I was able to see a lot from the air, including the fabulous sunset. Seeing it from the air gives you an even better picture of the vastness - you can see for miles - hundreds of miles even! You see the lights from numerous cities, and lakes and mountains. It really lays it out for you, and it always makes me think of the bigger picture.I've watched a couple Star Trek series and some other sci-fi shows, as well as reading a lot of sci-fi, and the idea of space travel fascinates me. I hope to see it within my lifetime, and I would certainly jump at the chance to see space, or even the moon, up close and personal! I believe there is other life out there, other planets, other systems even with more than one planet. And while the thought of making first contact with another species is a bit frightening, it is also extremely exhilerating, and I really hope I get to see the day when it happens! It is a pretty big piece of this big picture - or at least a pretty big thing for our minds to take in. And perhaps the majority of humanity isn't ready for it, and isn't likely to be any time soon. But then again, perhaps we will never be really ready for it, and it will just have to be sprung on us!
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