run, fat boy, run

As "they" say, If you can't love yourself, then how can you expect anyone else to love you? Or, for that matter, how can you love anyone else? This is the one thing that I consider most important for myself. If I can't love myself, and be confident and excited about who I am, then how can I expect to really achieve what I want? I have to first believe that what I want is truly important, and that I deserve to have what I want. And that all stems out of loving me.

I have gotten to the point where I look in the mirror and actually like what I see. And I just love working out in front of the mirror too and watching my muscles and body respond. I tell myself frequently that I am sexy - and I actually believe it!

This is a long way from where I used to be. Particularly my teenage years, were very awkward and depressing. I didn't like how I looked and I didn't feel confident at all with myself. How far I have come since then! I look back over the last ten years and barely know the person I was then. I still have plenty of growth and development ahead of me, but if the next ten years are even half what the last then were, then I look forward to even greater leaps and bounds, because I now have a fantastic foundation to build on!

Jon and I watched a fabulous movie last night that got me really thinking about the next steps to take in my personal development. Run, Fat Boy, Run is one of the best movies I have seen in a long time (Iron Man is the other one). It is a comedy, with a really great message that stuck right with me. Usually I see these movies and sure, I see the message, but it doesn't necessarily personalize for me. This one did. I could relate to the character far too well! Like Dennis Doyle, I have often tended to run from things and give up when the going gets tough. As I watched him run that marathon, and finish, I thought, That is what I need! I need to do something extremely physical, that takes every ounce of determination and persistence I can possibly muster to finish.

So I'm starting with a workout program. And I'm giving myself a set amount of time - three weeks, which will take me up until my BC trip. I am going to watch my diet, take vitamins and protein shakes, and work out hard. When it comes to physical stamina and strength, I have tended to be a wimp, but no more!

The last month or so I've been really struggling with motivating myself, and have been fighting off depression and discouragement. My life was starting to feel so cluttered and scattered. I realized I needed to change something, but wasn't sure what. Part of the problem was that I wasn't sure what I wanted anymore - not clearly enough to really go for it, at least. This movie, and the determination and inspiration that it brought me, has given me something to work toward, something to put my energy into. Now I need to sit down and write some specific goals for the next three weeks, and I'll be on my way!

I still don't quite know what I want for my business, or other areas of my life, but I feel like I at least have something to put my heart into, and I know the rest will come. And I've got a great coach for this start, as well. Jon picked me up some vitamins and protein powder, and we're both going to be working on a menu to help us eat better - and he's good for suggestions for workouts too. I don't know if he'll go so far as to get out a spatula, like Dennis Doyle's coach did, but I know he'll be there when I need him, to encourage and even prod me along. And to point out the results as he sees them. Ah, I am blessed to have him in my life!!

My next personal development challenge - which I may take on at the same time - is to be more confident in interacting with people, to carry myself with more confidence and to learn to communicate with extreme confidence - especially in tense situations!

Look out world, here I come!