i dream of...

A few weeks ago I got a couple books from the library on dreams and interpreting and understanding them. The books just kinda sat there, unread, for several weeks. I renewed them, but didn't want to bother going to the library to return them yet, and kept thinking maybe I would read them yet before taking them back. About a week ago I started actually getting into one and reading it - because I was out of good fiction to read. lol. And boy oh boy has it ever turned out to be good! The author stays away from giving images and symbols specific meanings, and instead shows you how to figure out what they mean specifically for you and your life. The whole process involves asking yourself what the dream was all about, describing each person or thing involved and the feelings associated with them, how you felt toward them in the dream. A key to doing this is to describe the elements of the dream as if you are talking to someone from another planet who has no idea what a car is, or any other object or element. The jist of it is, you start to see parallels between the dream and a situation in your waking life, or an aspect of your personality, or whatever the case may be. (The book is called In Your Dreams and is written by Gayle Delaney, for any of you interested in checking it out.)

This book is drastically changing the way I look at my dreams. I first got the book because I seem to have really bizarre, fucked up dreams. I wake up going, what the hell was that? So I decided it was time to see if I could get some insight into my dream life. And it's working, now that I've finally gotten into the book. I've started to analyze my dreams, the way she suggests, and I am seeing things that make me go, Okay, uhh, wow! I am getting more excited about my dreams than I ever have before, and am seeing how much they can teach me about myself and my life! Where before I was seeing my dreams as some kind of fucked up fantasy or something, now I am beginning to see symbolism, metaphors and far deeper truths that really speak to serious parts of my waking life. Most recently, I am seeing things in my dreams having to do with relationship issues I've been having, and I'm going holy crap, so that's what my dream is saying - it makes sense now!

So I highly recommend this book, if you're at all interested in finding out what your dreams are all about. I find it utterly facinating, as it is a glimpse into my subconscious mind.

Here's a bit of an amusing dream that I had a couple nights ago. I was at a Pita Pit with one of my cousins. I walked in and couldn't really see anything because it was so much darker in there than outside, so I had to let my eyes adjust before I could even read the menu to decide what I wanted. Once I could see, I decided to get a gyro pita - which is actually one of my favorites when going there. So I ordered a gyro and the guy started making it - except it wasn't a gyro. It was a hotdog, and it only cost a buck something, while I knew the gyro I wanted should be much more than that. So I said something, told the guy it wasn't what I wanted and asked if they had real gyros there. I thought he finally understood what I wanted, and another guy came up from the back to make my sandwich. I went and sat down with my cousin while he supposedly made my pita and when it was ready I went up to the counter to get it. Once again, it was not what I wanted! It was a sub sandwich of some sort. A huge monster, several feet long, with cheese and pepperoni or something - not at all what I had ordered or wanted! So I said something, and I said it forcefully. I was like, Hey, this is not what I ordered! Don't you guys have gyro pitas anymore? What's going on here? Isn't this supposed to be Pita Pit? Or something like that. I really went off and told them exactly what I thought and felt and how frusterated and unsatisfied I was.

Now the interesting thing is that in real life I don't do this. If I get something that's not quite what I ordered, I don't say anything, I just go with it. I might be disappointed, but rather than make a fuss, I go with it. But in my dream, I stood up for myself and what I wanted, I told them exactly what I thought of their service and their inability to give me what I ordered.

I found it facinating to analyze this and see how in my dream I was able to do something that in my waking life I need to learn to do. My subconscious mind was telling me that I need to stand up for myself and what I want - and not just go with the flow when someone messes up on my order. Not to be a bitch about it - in the dream, I wasn't being a bitch, I was calmly stating that this was not what I ordered and I wasn't satisfied - but to simply, calmly stand up for myself more and not let myself get pushed under. This has implications in other parts of my life too, not just in ordering food. I see parallels in my relationships, in my job, in my every day life and it just blows me away to be able to pull this out of a dream that before I would have thought was some crazy fucked up fantasy.