pain

I don't handle pain very well. Never have. Doesn't matter if it's physical, mental, emotional - I basically respond the same way. I curl in on myself and grab whatever I can to make it stop. Painkillers, something to keep me busy, something to dull my mind and dull the pain. But that only numbs the symptoms. It doesn't actually heal the hurt - and can very often make it worse.

What is it with human beings and pain? It is probably the one thing that we all fear in common - PAIN. We fear it in different forms - rejection, torture, falling, failing. It's all pain in some form. And humanity can't stand pain. We do whatever we can to dull it or avoid it. Am I right?

Is pain what makes life what it is? If we didn't have the pain and the struggles, would we become the people we are? Would we see the success if not for the failures and challenges? Would we see the happiness if not for the tears and heartache? Or is that just my limited earth-perspective talking? For those who believe in God and Heaven, there is a future life with no pain, but it's certainly hard to really imagine when this earth is all you've known and pain is a part of your every day life.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying heaven and a perfect afterlife are BS and hooey or anything. But I will confess that I'm not sure about it myself anymore. At the same time, though, the thought of life in this messed up world being the only thing I'll ever know is just a bit depressing. ;-) I'm not too keen on sitting on a cloud playing a harp either. So what's left? What are the other options? Is there more to this existance than everything mentioned above?

Life, the Universe and Everything. We now know the answer to it, thanks to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but what good is the answer when you don't know the question asked? 42 what? (For those of you who are feeling out of the loop and haven't read or seen The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, I highly recommend it...) People have always been searching for the meaning of life, the purpose of life, something to make it worth the pain of living. Some find it in religion, some find it in their career. I guess what matters is that I find what's right for me, what answers the question for me, because in the end, I am the one who will be looking back on my life and seeing what I did and didn't do, how I lived and didn't live.